by Lori Deschene

She doesn’t actually want him dead. Though I give my family a lot of flak for ignoring the family dog, my mother was being facetious when she said, “We wish he’d die. We hate him. You’re right.”

I do this whenever I get home. I see that adorable chocolate lab sitting lonely in the kitchen—the only room he’s allowed inside. I watch my parents yell at him for barking, even though he gets minimal attention. And I give everyone the riot act for being an irresponsible pet owner.

“Dogs need affection!” I preach. “You shouldn’t have a pet if you don’t want to play with him. Occasionally petting him on your way out with a sandwich isn’t good enough.”

I realized today, however, after lecturing for a good 20 minutes I’d hardly paid any attention to Jax in three days. Five minutes of petting here or there, but that was it. I was just too busy.

I was a total hypocrite. Here’s a little more honesty for you: I’ve done it before with other things, and will probably do it again.

I’d like to work at doing it less. I think a good start is to acknowledge some of the other ways I may be righteous, and then identify ways to practice what I’m preaching.

I have 10 ideas to walk the walk when I may feel like talking the talk:

1. Instead of telling someone to be less selfish, step outside yourself and consider the feelings that motivated their behavior.

2. Instead of criticizing someone for being lazy, make the effort to suggest ideas to help them take action.

3. Instead of telling your children to do what you say and not as you do, do as though they can’t hear your words—meaning only your actions count.

4. Instead of adding to your friend’s venting session about the bad parts of people, remind them of the good by doing something kind.

5. Instead of yelling at someone for treating you disrespectfully, express your feelings while showing them the respect we all deserve.

6. Instead of trying to convince someone to follow your religion to find peace, allow them peace from conversion.

7. Instead of telling someone to be more thoughtful, treat them how you’d like to be treated so they think of you without being told to.

8. Instead of holding onto anger about the way someone hurt you, find forgiveness and stop hurting them with your anger.

9. Instead of accusing someone of being righteous, consider the possibility no one is right—you just see things differently.

10.

I left 10 blank because it’s yours to fill. What’s another way you could embody the change you’d like to see in someone else?

I realize there’s a little irony in this post. I’ve listed a bunch of ways to do more and tell less—and it reads like I’m telling you what to do. I’m willing to own that irony because I think it’s a valuable conversation to start! Do you?

I still need your help! I am in 5^th place in the Good Mood Blogger contest—which means I’ll most likely make it to Round 2 on November 6^th. Can you please vote today so I’ll move on with enough votes to look like a valuable candidate to the judges? It just takes one click, and you can vote once a day. Thank you, and please let me know what I can do to help you!

Photo by Zach Heller Photography

Tags: hypocrite, preach, preaching

This entry was posted on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 12:49 am and is filed under Personal Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.