by Lori Deschene

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” –Dr. Seuss

It was the time of your life.

The class that shaped a dream and helped you believe in you. The job that built a life, and helped you feel a sense of purpose. The adventure that gave you wings, and helped you realize your only limitations are the ones you impose upon yourself.

For a brief flicker time you lived in an experience so beautiful words don’t do it justice. You loved who you were and what you were doing. How you saw the world from that place. How other people saw you.

And just like that it ended. Maybe you knew it was coming. Maybe it all faded away without any notice. But it’s over—and part of you wants it back. To be that person again, with that sense of possibility, or excitement, or security.

I’ve been there before. I know I’ll be there many times again. And I am grateful. It’s awesome it’s over because:

1. Every ending is a new beginning. Sometimes we get in a situation that feels good and attach to it. I know I’ve done it before. I try to remind myself how much life I would have missed if I attached to the first job I loved. I wouldn’t have toured the United States. I wouldn’t have moved to New York or California. And I wouldn’t be writing this blog right now.

2. You have the opportunity to open yourself up to who you could become. Oftentimes we find a state and fight to remain in it—a physical place, a way of being, or a way of seeing the world. Anais Nin said, “Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through.” Every time one phase ends, you have the chance to become someone new all over again.

3. The experience challenges you to be brave in the face of uncertainty. If there’s one main theme on my blog, it’s this: life is never certain. Any time we can flex our courage and challenge our fear of the unknown, it’s a blessing. If you live to a ripe old age, you’ll have 80+ years of beginnings, endings, and potential heartache. The sooner you get better at accepting the unknown, the better!

4. You have a chance to decrease your mourning-time. Depending on what you lost, your experience of accepting it and moving on might look a lot like the different stages of grief: shock & denial, pain & guilt; anger & bargaining, and so on. Every time we deal with change or loss, we have a chance to improve how we navigate this process.

5. It reminds you to be present. Despite being a crusader for the power of now, I struggle being in the moment. Sometimes, even when I’m enjoying what I’m doing, I start worrying about it ending, or stressing about something unrelated. An ending reminds you every moment is precious. Everything we love in life will one day end, whether you enjoy it fully or not. Including this moment right now—when you could either be sad about what you lost, or appreciate what you’ve gained.

6. It teaches you to adapt. Some people squeeze themselves into a narrow niche, and have difficulty imagining themselves doing or being anything else. Every time one situation ends, you have a choice: cling to it, or try to recreate it exactly as it was. Or open up to something new—something that could be even better.

7. It encourages you to find happiness in you. I’ve often attached my happiness to my life situation, and I’ve learned this is a mistake. It’s normal to enjoy something you love doing; but the joy we find in ourselves transcends our life changes. I always tell myself, “Wherever you go, whatever you do, you take yourself with you.” You are the only constant in your life. Find solace in you.

8. It gives you an opportunity to choose: hold onto pain or let go. It may seem overly simplified to say, “Stop feeling bad.” To some extent it is. You have to feel what you need to feel. If you don’t, it will eventually boil up and bubble up. But you don’t have to dwell in negativity. At some point we all need to choose: do I want to be bitter about things past, or excited about things to come?

9. You can help other people. Whenever I have to deal with a loss, be it a job or a home—and I’ve lost many—it helps to realize I can either pull people down with me or lift them up. Just because you don’t have what you had, that doesn’t mean you can’t still make a difference. Whenever someone deals with adversity or change it inspires the people around them to do the same. And people need that right now.

10. It is what it is—and accepting that is always awesome.

Whatever change you’re dealing with—whatever ending shook up you world—it’s over but it aint over. It’s a new beginning, a new adventure, a new opportunity to be your best you.

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Photo by birds in her mind

Read more 10 Reason’s It’s Awesome posts here.

Tags: acceptance, beginning, change, ending, growth, opportunity

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 8th, 2009 at 9:14 pm and is filed under Personal Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.